The Life-Changing Magic of a First Grandchild

I recently returned from Baja, Mexico, where I helped my daughter Mairin and her husband Michael with the end of pregnancy and the first weeks of parenthood.

What a wild ride! It was the best three weeks of my life: I got to hold the world’s most beautiful baby; I was able to help my adult daughter; and I was there to see her and Michael support each other through one of the most intense phases of life. 

Mairin doesn’t want photos of Casper on the internet, but let me assure you that he is gorgeous. Like Mairin, he loves human contact, so he had many contact naps on my shoulder while I was in Mexico. His face and body changed so much during his first 10 days. It was magical to watch. 

Helping Mairin and Michael was also cathartic for me. My mother died when she was 55 years old – before either of my daughters was born. Thirty years ago, I struggled through the first weeks of parenthood with some help from friends, but it wasn’t the same level of help a mother can provide. While I was in Mexico, I loved being able to help Mairin and Michael; however, they needed it at the moment. Whether it was most supportive to help with Casper, wash the dishes, cook a meal, or keep Mairin company, that’s what I did.

I can’t emphasize enough how impressed I was by Michael’s support of Mairin during labor and delivery, and by how well they worked together to learn how to care for a newborn. They both love Casper so much already.

The trip was also a metaphor for an important lesson I learned when Mairin turned two and weighed only 18 pounds. My wise friend Becky recommended a video on feeding your child. The video taught me to put healthy food on the table and let Mairin fill her own plate. When she was two, she would stand on her chair and reach across the table to fill her plate the way she wanted to fill it (which was much different than the way I would have filled it). That lesson was an excellent metaphor for helping my adult child through a new phase of learning. I let her and Michael fill their own plates and was there to clean up any crumbs that fell on the floor.

What was your first grandchild experience? What lessons did you learn?